Sunday, October 17, 2010

Where do babies come from? A parent's squeamish moment.

Did you ever notice in the say, 3-9 year old crowd of children that quite often you will be blindsisded by a question with a..... er.... ummmm delicate subject matter?

It's not unusual for my oldest to choose to ask one of these questions, and then some simple answer will suffice, and I will breathe a sigh of relief that more of the sensitive conversation can happen another day..... perhaps when daddy happens to be the one with him <grin>

So, we've had the conversation about babies being in a mommy's tummy. Other times he wanted to know how the baby moved, and there was a conversation about the bag of waters, how it protects a baby...... and how they swim.
Then, eventaully there was the conversation about how when the baby comes, the bag of water breaks...... and a lady goes into 'something' called labour.

Well it's been a few months since we've had one of these conversations and I haven't really got much of a clue what he thinks about in between..... Clearly there has been thought though. Because the other day we got an oddball question. RIGHT out of left field.

"When the baby's bag of water breaks and the lady goes into labour, are you allowed to eat?"

"Well that depends on whether you are at the hospital or at home during labour" (Sometimes this sort of odd answer will suffice)
"Oh?" (Here's me thinking... oh man, this isn't one of those times we're not gonna be happy with one answer, is it?)
"Why would it matter?"

"Well, Happy sometimes the doctors aren't happy if you eat during labour."

"But WHY would it matter?" (Oh why, oh why, must be discuss the possibility of evacuation during labour today?! <yikes> )

After telling him why, he got this really wide-eyed look on his face, and it occurred to him how the baby gets out...... AND FROM WHERE! This was somewhat humourous to him, and a little on the 'shock and awe' side for our conversations.

Thank the LORD that was enough to discourage him from asking how the baby got in there in the first place.... or maybe it just hasn't occurred to him to ask yet....

Don't worry, one day he'll take me by surprise and ask me..... Don't you worry about that. I NEVER get away from these things.

Monday, September 13, 2010

The 'Back to school' Twilight Zone

My two oldest kids returned to school last week. Not too much to get upset about there.... We homeschool, and school year-round to accomodate days where one of the kids might be having a 'not-learning-kind-of-day'. So, after a two week break, out came the new school books for the year, new teacher's manuals, new Visual aids, new pencil crayons, new pencils, rulers, and crayons.  We've got ourselves a little more organized to troubleshoot some things that weren't working for us before, and I'm seeing some wonderful progress.Nothing new about a new school year; we've been doing it for a few years now. Nothing new about back to school shopping; every year you need new supplies, and when they go on sale is the best time to do it. Nothing new about a new grade.

And yet, this year everything seems a little 'off'. A little like the twilight zone.

There was one that 'should' have been going with them this year. 'Should' have been having his 'meet the teacher' meeting last week. Should have have joined his class this week for Junior Kindergarten.
It's been a bit of an odd sensation for me approaching school this year.
Eli isn't starting school. He's not with us. He was born still at 35 weeks, so we never met him alive, and yet, he changed everything about me. It's amazing how such a small dynamic can change everything.

On days like today, I wonder what he would be like. I'm not lost in pain; nor do I 'live there', but every so often I let my mind imagine: He would have turned four this past May. How much shorter would he be than Joshua and Jonathan? I can assume that following suit of all the other kids, he'd have dirty blond hair, blue eyes and a mischievious smile that there is no mistaking.

But there is so much I don't know.  I wonder if he would have the same odd sense of humour that we seem to share in this family. What tactless observations would he make at this age? Wonder how our family dynamic would be different. Wonder how many kids we would have now if things had happened differently.  Just places my mind goes if I let my mind wander.

Truth be told, I know that God has brought an immeasureable amount of good from our journey with Eli. No doubt it was a short time with him, and it has been a painful and difficult journey.
However, because of him, I have met people I would never have met, been able to develop compassion for people to whom I would never have been able to extend compassion. I am less uncomfortable with people's pain. Having experienced it myself, I find a way to extend beyond my comfort zone to try to help another cope.
I also met and lost a very dear friend during that time as well; yes I lost her, but without Eli I never would have had her. All positives I would not otherwise have had.

It's amazing the amount of good that someone can bring into your life when you're never had a chance to meet them in person.

So, no, this isn't one of those obvious 'anniversaries' that one thinks of when a loss occurs. Not a birthday. Not a funeral date. Not painful like either of those. Just an occasion that leaves you a little off kilter for a spell.

So, today I am grateful for my kids that started school this year, and for my little one that didn't.

 Hold your children close, and consider those who don't have the chance to, for whatever reason.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Squealing little girls

Anyone got any idea why little girls squeal?

I don't know.... Guess I'm not the Squealing type. Don't remember ever being the squealing type, although if I was I am sure that someone that remembers my childhood will be happy to correct me.

I have squealing little girls..... ear splitting, glass shattering kind of Squeally girls.
They are currently running around my living room. And Squealling..... (Just in case that wasn't apparent enough <grin>)

Now, that would be annoying enough, but 'squealing little girls' take on 'migraine residue' in the match of the day. Migraine hit yesterday. Unfortunately my Good friend Advil Liqui-Gels are not strong enough to be a good corner man..... forgive the Boxing terminology..... Trying to fight off a massive headache just brings it out in me.

Squeally little girls are fighting dirty today..... See, I was given the hope of an easy day..... My 2 year old was very quiet this morning..... VERY QUIET..... Laying on the floor- fever of 102- can't be bothered to pick my head up- quiet...... Very unusual..... VERY! Kid kissed the canvas.

So I thought I was in for an easy day, with my main noise maker out of the ring.

Then she starts making noise..... dreadful noise.....  Which prompted the addition of a rectal thermometer to the fight. Then the fight got intense. Funny how a lethergic two year old finds a little spare energy for just long enough to protest that kind of thermometer.

So, mommy decided that Pippy could have a round of Tylenol. Then, about 45 minutes later, the running and squealling began... Happy noise instead of the really unhappy kind. Right now, I can't tell if one is worse than the other.

Amazing how much improvement you see in a sick child with a single dose of tylenol.

So Sarah and Michaela are currently running round the living room making that noise.
The sucker punch of the match is John- who decided that provoking them is his sole job today. If there is one thing John's good at, it's poop disturbing, but don't tell him I said that.
I bet you didn't know little boys can squeal too.... Doesn't help a migraine much.

I don't know who will throw in the towel first, and if it's me, I'm not sure I'll tell you....

Saturday, August 28, 2010

You want me to take what?!

I have an almost three year old among my crew. Three year olds are definitely an odd breed. Eccentric, Unpredictable, Never the same way two days in a row.

My three year old still happens to nap, and go to bed a night..... which I'm sure that all people would think is a good thing. So we usually have a bit of a routine... and then we let her do her thing- and hope that she sleeps.

So, recently we had been having an odd request from our small child...... but not until the bed time routine was done and we sat down on the couch, finally thinking that we were going to get some 'down time' for the day. I can imagine you thinking that it's the standard "I have to pee/drink/brush my teeth/give the gerbil a hug.


The first night it happened it surprised me just like I think it's gonna surprise you:

"I have a dljwouedo, you have to come take it!

Say what?

We started the parental refrain of 'Go to bed'.

Not to be deterred this game went on for about 15 mintues or so, and she just wouldn't quit.

Neither one of us knew what she was talking about, so Mark goes up the stairs, listens to what she has to say and then comes down the stairs.
Holding a Domino.

She had a Domino in her room and she absolutely would not go to bed until it was removed from her bedroom...

Yeah, here's me shaking my head... and we can not figure out what was so special about this domino that it absolutely had to leave her room.
This is the child that has about 25 'babies' in her room and all of the diaperbags, bottles, clothes and what not that you can possibly imagine. They are strewn all over her floor. Most days you can hardly find it.
And yet, she noticed one domino. One White domino. In the midst of all of the chaos, one domino made it impossible for her to go to bed. But only after we had sat down to relax.

Can we say 'Princess and the pea'?!

We've had this happen quite a few times since then..... a domino here, a half a plastic easter egg there....
It used to be that she was missing one of her '100 sheep' and left the rest until she had returned the missing 'baby' to the rest of them in her room.... and agin how she noticed one missing from the pile, I'll never know.
I still can't figure it out. It's almost like she takes a mental stock of the mess, like studying a "where's Waldo' picture and then says oops... that's what's out of place.... There's Waldo!

Don't think I've ever seen anything like it. Except for John and his animation discrimination..... but THAT is a story for another day.

Monday, August 23, 2010

What exactly were you thinking?

What exactly were you thinking?!!!?

 I'm sure we've all thought it at one point or another. Someone does something that comes out of left field, or that doesn't follow the conventional way of doing things and then we stop in bewilderment, and try like crazy to understand what brought a person to a course of action. We are often left shaking our head.

I have four small children and I have this thought on an almost daily basis.... What were you thinking when you picked up your baby sister around the neck like a rag doll? What line of logic made you decide to tromp down the street in nothing but a pair shorts and your dad's dress shoes? What were you thinking when you decided to put stickers on every surface in my kitchen? What made you think that jumping off the couch into a pile of hard toys was somehow going to end well? Were you really thinking that after you painted my basement with four colours of finger paint that I'd accept your explanation that "Daddy told you to paint the basement"?

I come to the conclusion that kids do weird things. They do them often in my house. They do it in an attempt to take in the world and experience it for all it's worth. They thrive on excitement. They have a wonder for living and learning that can't be rivalled, and their line of logic is not neat and tidy. So, I'm afraid that in my house the ducks will never likely all be in a row. I'll never expect perfect kids, but then, my life will never be boring, either.

I can only hope that while they are still kids, that I can use the time I have to the best of my ability. I'll try to cause them to stop and think before they act. Maybe I'll get a little practise in on stopping to think before I react too.

See, I guess we can learn from other people's weird thoughts..... it's just not always the lesson we thought.